The Drinks of a Brofessional
Posted July 12th, 2008 by Jackie Thomas
Five Drinks That Show Your Status & Five You Should Avoid Like the Plague
Now that you’re a bro and a professional, you should drink like one. The experts have spoken: there are drinks that are decidedly ‘bro,’ and drinks that are decidedly, well, not. Up your game by sipping our manly list of bro-approved drinks, and let the less worthy imbibe the “Not” list.
Brofessional-Approved
- Gin and juice – 2 – ½ oz. gin, 1 oz. orange juice, the gin and juice has fueled American men for generations. WWII officers chugged them for breakfast before missions.
- Tequila Sunrise – 2 measures tequila, orange juice, 2 dashes Grenadine: the breakfast of champions
- Original Sazerac – This Southern specialty may not be the tastiest drink, but it’s pure man: 1 tsp sugar, 1-1/2 oz. rye whiskey, 1 dash absinthe, 2 dashes Peychaud bitters, 2 dashes Angostura bitters, 1 Lemon peel twist
- Manhattan – Ranked Manliest Cocktail by Holy Taco, the Manhattan is the chosen drink of members of the Italian mafia
- Snake Bite – 2 oz. Yukon Jack liquer + 1 dash lime juice = 100% badass
Not for Bros. Never. Ever.
- Appletini – Experts at Tasty Booze advise bros to steer clear of anything that ends with ‘-tini.’
- Blow Job Shot – After you get over the name, you remember that Blow Job Shots are the beverage of choice at bachelorette parties and other girls-only outings. Think about what you’re putting in your mouth.
- Mike’s Hard Lemonade – Any of the assorted Mike’s Hard drinks are simply not meant for masculine consumption.
- Cosmopolitan – Are you Sarah Jessica Parker? No. No you are not.
- Zima with a Jolly Rancher – Seriously?
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